Starts with Peacocks

I began a habit of starting new projects with peacock images when I was in some trouble years ago. At the time, there was no choice but to wait for decisions of others while the outcome was unknown and guaranteed to be a lot of hard work and instability. I had some awareness of the bird’s special meaning in many traditions, especially its ability to ingest and transform poison. So, it made some sense at the time to keep working and focus on peacock images. The first image was a four foot square canvas that had enough space to layer rich colors of the bird’s tail. Making this image in a space, where so much was going wrong, felt like I was bringing harmony to the situation in paint. This period was such a negative time for me that I had to commit to a goal of preventing toxic emotions from overwhelming my thoughts and judgement.

The painting was good help, and I had more clarity as I navigated this period of uncertainty and exhaustion. I continued to paint peacocks throughout the year and developed more fluid approach to forming the images. The paintings above are ink, watercolor, and pigment. The images were unplanned and formed after I poured or brushed fluid marks in ink.

It’s nice to have years between today and the trouble that started this theme in my work. This year had it’s own difficulties, and I remember how much effort and how many techniques I used to keep myself stable and get through troubles in the past. In hindsight, I can see the effort to bring harmony to the situation worked. 

The use of peacocks at the start of projects came out of the realization that the trouble in the past was the beginning of something new. I am now starting this blog in some very troubled times, and I’m glad for the past experiences where I could see for myself how to maintain focus and stability without becoming toxic. For most of us, this kind of thing requires a commitment to the goal and time, There can be a lot to learn to manage our own inner experience.